Sunday, March 30, 2008

How to shave your head...

First, find a reason... or not...




I tried to get some of my coworkers to shave their head for next week. A couple have agreed (very hesitantly) but I won't know until tomorrow if they went through with it.


With the help of Glitzier I got started on my melon (she takes the pics and helps touch up my mistakes)


I want to comment on a blade that Glitzier got me while she was at the drug store. Its called the Headblade and it works well. If you currently shave your head or plan to start I suggest you try it and don't even bother with a regular face/leg razor.





and so it begins

Here I am before hand.

Time to start trimming. I used a 1/2" guide at first to keep it easy.



When I got down to using the trimmer without a guide, I was half tempted to just shave a "+" into my hair across my scalp for Monday and finish it later. But, I figured that the top of my head would then be a target for pigeons and would be tempting fate too much.






I look drunk or stoned here. I wonder if I look this way at work every day?




Halfway there. damn my ears are huge.

Time to lather up.

At least with my ears out of the way it makes it easier to get behind them.



Imagine a montage of scenes with Glitzy helping me with the spots I couldn't see well.


and voila...


Now that I'm done it is a little colder but not too bad. I don't notice the difference until I see my reflection or actually touch my head. We'll see how the next couple of days go.


{edit}

Apparently Glitzier wants people to know that I have mange.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Fade in...

A woman paces along a red brick two story building intently reading her book. She barely registers the moans coming from a window as she passes. From the next window she hears a child's voice whine "... but it's called summer vacation. We don't want any homework."

That quickly pulls her back to reality as she thinks 'I don't know why I took this job. I hate teaching these brats. I sometimes think I was better off teaching night school. At least there the people could usually make complete sentences.'

She buries her head back in her book hopeful that she can finish it before the hour is over, and thankful that the kids usually ignore her during recess. She was never able to sit still while reading these self help books and this was no exception. Reaching the end of the school building she turns around and nearly falls down as she runs into one of the more aggravating knee-biters that has come up close behind her.

Without looking away from the book she asked the boy "What do you want?"
"Wanna play Zappy!" he begs while pulling on her dress.

Zappy wasn't so much a game as a song that she modified. One day after having the song "If You're Happy And You Know It" bored into her brain, the adapted version just popped into her head. She tweaked it a little later that night and later that week she presented it to her students as an alternative and they loved it. Aside from changing the lyrics a little bit she makes the kids follow her in a line, sort of like a conga line. And since this sometimes leads them out of their homeroom when no other kids are allowed out during classroom hours, they are constantly asking her to play.

She agrees, and continues to read her book as she loosely lines them up. She is so busy with it that she does not realize how the young boy that started this session stays right beside her during this process and makes sure he is at the head of the line when she starts.
Raising her hand up in the air to get their attention she begins the song and starts the march ...
"If you're a zombie and you know it, raise you limbs."
"If you're a zombie and you know it, raise you limbs."
"If you're a zombie and you know it, then your face will surely show it"
"If you're a zombie and you know it, raise you limbs."

Out of the corner of her eye she slightly registers that she can see a lot of limbs flailing around on this verse. Going to the next chapter in her book she continues with her chant...

"If you're a zombie and you know it, moan and groan."
"If you're a zombie and you know it, moan and groan."
"If you're a zombie and you know it, then your face will surely show it"
"If you're a zombie and you know it, moan and groan."

She barely notices a lot of moaning and groaning behind her as she thinks, 'The children really like this part when they are allowed to let loose outside.'

"If you're a zombie and you know it, scream and shout."
"If you're a zombie and you know it, scream and shout."
"If you're a zombie and you know it, then your face will surely show it"
"If you're a zombie and you know it, scream and shout."

Finally the amount of shouting and screaming behind the teacher is enough to break her concentration and as she turns to chastise the children she drops the book in horror.

Slowly we pan down from the teacher's ashen face to the cover of the book "Amateur Witchcraft: How to Get What You Want."

... fade out

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I WON A NEW MERCEDES!!!!

If I'm to believe the prize notice I got today then I must have won something. Maybe a new car, maybe a dream vacation. The only thing that gives me pause is the notice stamped on the outside of the envelope "I am NOT an advertisement for a time share!"

Well, maybe not... *sigh*

While going through the usual junk mail today I came across an envelope that I would normally throw away without even bothering to open.

Not today.

Instead I decided that I will try an experiment which has been on my mind for quite a while.

I carefully opened the envelope to make sure who it is from and after a quick Google search came across this site: ClownCarBlog
It seems that this gentleman decided to hassle the people hosting the timeshare. It's a fun quick read.

I carefully sealed up the envelope and put a small mark on the edge.
I will be putting it back into the mail tomorrow and I want to see if it will be sent back to me.
If I do get it back, I will mark it again and drop it back into the mailbox.
Cycle repeats.

I'm wondering how often I can get it sent back to me. I also wonder if the sender will actually get charged for each delivery. If this works out, I plan to perform the same test with some credit card applications. Then maybe all of my junk mail.

Imagine, no more landfills created from junk mail. At the same time the post office will not need to raise the prices of their stamps because their income will be supplemented by junk mail redelivery.

My hope is that I can collect about 50-60 pieces of junk, drop them off at the same time and get them all sent back to me. I wonder how long I'll be able to keep this going?

Future updates as they occur....

::UPDATE 01/23/07 - I sent out 2 pieces of junk mail (one for me and one for Glitzy) back on the 18th and they have both just shown up in the mail today. Time to mark them again and send them on their 3rd trip.

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Every morning...

Why is it that every time I walk into work I get that "Oh Boy!" feeling as if I was
Scott Bakula in "Quantum Leap"?

Monday, April 17, 2006

How I resigned from work today...

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.
[pause]
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up...
- The Princess Bride


It all started when I got a call from Eric at a contract company on Monday 4/10. They had a job for me as a Network Admin in Alpharetta and wanted to know if I was interested. I said that I was and sent them a copy of my resume to forward to The Company.

I was told that The Company would review the resume and if they liked it I would partake in a phone interview. If that went well then I'd be asked to come in for an 'in-person' interview.

I got a call from Eric on Tuesday saying that The Company wanted to skip the phone interview and proceed straight to the 'in-person' interview on Wednesday. Well, the problem with this is that I am not a current resident of GA and The Company would not consider an out of state candidate. So the contract company lied to The Company and said I was local and arranged for the meeting to be on Friday.

I agreed to the Friday interview and made plans to get down to Alpharetta. The task was not easy because it was Easter weekend though I didn't realize it at first. I went to the web and had to run through the process of trying to book the flight seven times before I could get it to complete. Each time before the final attempt the 'deal' would be taken by someone else.

I got the itinerary for Glitzy and I to get to Alpharetta and the flight left from DTW to DC then to ATL on Thursday.

On the day of the flight we barely made it to the airport in time. We had to check in manually with an agent because we cut it so close. The rules for a flight that heads to DC are stricter than other flights and we didn't plan well enough ahead to compensate for that. We were told that our bags may not make it onto the flight and we may not either due to the screening process to DC.

We made it to the plane in time after some running but we need not fear however because the flight ended up being delayed. It was supposed to leave at 6:40am and after one trip to the runway and back we had to transfer to another plane because there was something wrong with the fuel system on this plane. Why not leave this flight and book another? Because every bag on a flight to DC is scanned. If any one bag is removed from the plane, all of the luggage has to be rescanned including our own bags.

I tried to get NWA to rebook the connecting flight 4 times because of the delays and they screwed up the last booking so we had to rebook ourselves and pay the extra money for the change. Now we have to get NWA to pay us back for it.

We finally made it to Atlanta but Glitzy's bag did not. It seems that it may have never made it onto the plane in DTW. We never found out. We checked into a hotel with walls a little too thin. This of course made the night before my morning interview less than perfect but it wasn't all bad because the bag was delivered before we went to sleep.

The interview went well and the rest of the afternoon we spent looking at some apartments. We found that all of the talk about the bad ATL traffic is right on the money. The traffic sucks. ALL OF THE TIME.

It was during this traveling that I found out that The Company wanted me to start in two weeks.

So we decided to change our plans for where we would end up living and had to work for the rest of the evening to find new places to search. Glitzy did a lot of work paring down the list of places using information she found online. Some of it was pretty bad.

After touring a bunch of apartments on Saturday we decided to go with the 3 bedroom McGwier unit here. Neat thing is that after 6 months 20% of your money goes towards the purchase of a new home.

We got a chance to sleep a little Saturday night after celebrating at Taco Mac and joining their Passport Club. Sunday we headed back home and I was able to create my resignation letter and I include it below. I printed it out on clear transparency film for effect and it came out great. (if you don't know the LCARS format, you should).

I gave it to my boss today when I went into his office for what was supposed to be my yearly performance review meeting. What is odd is that my boss and I rarely saw eye to eye. When I gave the letter to him he asked about staying with my current company and said that he would contact the people in ATL to see if there is something there that would work for me.

Now I'm in a rush to get things together for the move and all the usual stuff that goes along with it.


--Update: I've received a call from a manager down in GA for another division of the company I currently work for. It seems my current manager contacted him and he may have a position for me. We'll see if what he has is better than the offer I have on the table.

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Saturday, April 08, 2006

My new career path

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Would you live here?